Say what you need to say....

What would you do if you were told you only had 5 years left to live? I don't know why, but I started thinking about that today while in the middle of studying for my exam tomorrow. I started day dreaming of all of the things that I would change...I would throw aside my fears, not let silly things stand in the way of what I knew I needed to do, the things I needed to say...I would hop on the next plane to Africa, travel to all the places that I said I would "eventually" visit. I wouldn't let what other people thought stand in the way anymore...I would walk slower down the street, never let my priorities get out of whack....and then I stopped, and wondered why I wasn't doing all of that now. What happened to living life to the fullest? Living every second for God, and pushing procrastination off that cliff once and for all? The other thing that popped into my head was about sharing my faith. That has been the topic of discussion over the past couple of weeks at youth, and it really smacked me upside the head today. Lord, let me throw aside my fear where living for You is concerned. May I live each day as if it's my last...I'm not expecting everyday to be rainbows and sunshine, for it is in trusting You through my struggles that I grow stronger and closer. But may I wake up every morning and thank You for the gift of a new day, and may I never take it for granted.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt58Z_XuGe4

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Hello again :)

Today has been a good day. My fridays consist of a 9am class and then work until 4, which was good. I have to be careful not to just simply go through the motions of my day, to tune out the small things, creation, God's voice. I was walking to school this morning with the sun rising in front of me....it was so beautiful. The God who created me created that....so amazing! :)

So, the other pretty awesome part of my day was a prayer meeting that happened in my living room this evening. As a bit of a backstory, I am a part of a bible study that meets every Sunday night. A lot of us went to highschool together, and it's a pretty great group to be a part of :) So, we had been talking a lot about prayer lately and as a group decided that we wanted to have one day out of the week, aside from Sunday where we got together and just pray. So that what we did tonight, and it was so good :) It wound up just being three of us who could make it but we just sat together and talked to God with whatever was on our hearts. I really do hope that it is something that we will continue on a weekly basis. Hopefully with school finishing soon, people's schedules will be a bit less crazy and more people can come, but even with just three it was such a good time of quiet and reflection.

Well, that's about it for now :) This was a short one but I really wanted to share about tonight. Plus, I have to work tomorrow, so sleep needs to happen fairly soon :P I'll catch up with you later :)

Lots of Love

Hey there :)

So, it has been ages since I have written here, so I thought I would give you a bit of a life update. School is coming to a close for this year, which will see the end of my second year of university :) I am looking forward to it being finished for sure. This year has been one of those "required" years where school is concerned. A lot of manditory courses, but ones that will help me in upper years for sure. I look forward to next year with much excitement though :) I have the opportunity to take a specialised Autism course, disabilities courses, a sign language class, as well as the possibility for a teaching assistant position for a first year class :) Oh, so in case I haven't talked about this yet, my career path has changed a bit. Where I started out wanting to be a french teacher (I don't know what I was thinking :P), then was thinking about teaching in a special needs classroom, I am now hoping to pursue a career in occupational therapy :) It will mean a couple more years of schooling than I had origionally thought, but it will be so worth it :) I can't explain how amazing to know that God has opened my eyes to this, that he has given me a passion and a purpose to work with these kids. I went from pretty much wandering aimlessly in my first year, just getting through, to grabbing hold of this passion this year and running with it :)

Which leads me to my super cool exciting summer plans......Camp Daniel! :) It is a camp in the states, specifically for children and adults with disabilities and it is looking like I will be counceling there this coming July and August :) This, again, was one of those "God moments". I had e-mailed the camp director saying that I would love to come and councel for as many weeks as I could but....and then I gave a list of all the reasons why I thought it probably wouldn't work; I wouldn't be able to get there until a day before camp started, I didn't have a ride to and from the airport, I didn't really have any formal training, I was unsure about flights....I'm good at that, making excuses. But, God is bigger than my excuses (thank goodness!). The first line of the e-mail I received back was, "I want you to know that we will do everything we can to make this work for you"....and then she went on the slash all my excuses in half....every single one! :) So, all that to say, God is good, and I am super excited for what this summer has in store for me :)

I have been thinking a lot about listening for God and following Him in the day to day. I just finished reading a blog that almost made me cry, that got me thinking about it even more. If you have a second check it out (search kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com). She is a young woman in her mid 20's who lives in Uganda and has adopted upwards of 11 children (I can't remember the exact number, sorry :( ). Her blog speaks of her constant reliance on God for necessities, but also for strength, emotional needs....everything. She gave up everything for His calling on her life. Love shines through every paragraph she writes....love for God and love for her children....and I cry because it is humbling...I cry because I have so much and yet I trust God with so little...I cry because I let the busyness of life crowd Him out and then I wonder why I feel so dry...I cry because there are so many out there who need His love and I am falling short...but I cry with hope....Father, awaken my heart, don't let me turn a blind eye to those children, to those that you have placed on my heart....

~now that I have seen,

I am responsible

Faith without deeds is dead

now that I have held you in my own arms,

I cannot let go~

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline".

~1 Timothy 2:17~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGx-xU6TnU8&NR=1

This Will Be My Resolution....It Could Start a Revolution....

Hey All :)

So, apparently the last time I posted on this thing was coming up on four months ago! For that....I say I told you so ;) It has been crazy around here; the first semester of second year finished up, Chirstmas and New Years came and went and I managed to procrastinate on every reading assignment I was supposed to to over the break :P All that to say, school is beginning again for me tomorrow and I have been thinking as of late that it is time for me to make some changes in my life.

I have talked a bit before about fear and how it can hold me back from a lot of things in life; emotionally, relationally, spiritually, sometimes even physically. And while the fear is still an aspect of my life that I have to struggle with, I would like to bring forth a new topic....a fresh perspective if you will. I would like to discuss with you the New Years Resolution.

I never stick to them :P Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I know that I'm going to fail somewhere a long the way, so my New Years resolutions tend to get less and less gutsy as the years go on. However, I have been thinking a lot about starting anew, fresh and how that does not by any means have to be confined to the first of January. Now, most people would agree with me on that, but our reasonings might differ slightly. But, I would like to share with you my reason that I have the ability to get up each morning, and say today is new and I can start again.

I don't know what you believe, and depending on who is reading this, you could find this next bit to be a bunch of baloney....but I believe it with every part of me. I serve a God of second and third and forty-fifth chances, a God who loves me unconditionally, who created me and who calls me His daughter. Every morning, I can wake up and give my day to Him. I can place every struggle, fear, worry...everything, at His feet and He invites me to do that.....isn't that insane! :)

I believe I've mentioned it before, but I was reading a book recently called Practicing His Presence by Brother Lawrence, and it talks about being in constant conversation with God. In one section, he touches on the issue of becoming discouraged when you are trying to stay in conversation with God but your mind wanders, you get busy, etc. He talks about how every second can be a new beginning. How, when you find your mind wandering, you can simply pull yourself back, ask for forgiveness and strength and start again. So, that would be my prayer for you this new year, and for myself as well. That we would wake up every morning, giving our day to Him. And that we would treat every day....maybe even every second, as New Years Day and strive to grow closer to the One who transends time. Talk to 'yall later :)

Lots of Love

God Bless

Meaghan :)

a mask of meekness....

So, I am sitting here, sipping a coffee, and reflecting on the day. It wasn't very eventful, although it did provoke some interesting questions in my mind. The one that keeps rolling through my head is the topic of identity. I had my first bible study tonight with and on campus christian group that I've become connected with this year. We are doing a study of the book of John and the indepth questioning of the first part of the chapter tonight were great. But as I was driving home I kept thinking about, well...me. I know that probably sounds a bit self centred, but let me explain. For the majority of my life, I have had a label. I am the quiet, passive, obliging young lady who speaks when she's spoken too. I'm never the first one to raise my hand, heaven forbit offer an opinion. And what I came to realize again tonight was that I have carried that with me for a long time, and it has come to define me. For people who know me, I feel I'm expected to behave in this way. The unfortunate part is that even coming into new group settings, I continued to portray that side of myself, even if it wasn't truely who I had become.

So tonight, this year in all honesty, I want that to change. I don't need to hide behind a mask of meekness, I am ready to step out boldly. God has been showing me many things over the past year, and one of them is simply that I am missing so much. So many opportunities to grow; grow in relationship with others, branch out and start new relationships and, especially, grow closer to Him. I am not defined by who I was but who I am now. I am created anew.

I am currently reading "Practicing His Presence" by Brother Lawrence (just as I said with Irresistable Revolution, read it, it'll change you). The author's lifestyle was to be in constant prayer with God, a continuous conversation (crazyily simple, yet amazingly hard core stuff!). There's a quote from the end of the chapter that I just finished that says, " every minute can be a fresh beginning". I think I like that :)

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old is gone, the new has come!"

~2 Corinthians 5:17~

That's all for now, talk to you soon :)

God Bless :)

Running on the Beach <3

As promised, here is the journal/blog written on vacation, during which time I was without Internet...

Waves are incredible. They have both beauty in their colour and mist and power in their size and current, that can sweep you off your feet in an instant. Waves can also erase. This week as I ran along the beach in Ocean City, I was reminded of the footprints poem that sits on my desk at home. I would run along the shoreline leaving a trail behind me, only to have a wave come and wash the evidence of my existence away. I had to rely on the buildings erected further back along the beach to get myself back to my starting point. A land mark closer to the water could be swept away in the blink of an eye. I am like those landmarks, those footprints, I change with the tide. I can be swept away in the depth of my emotions, running so deep that i feel like I can't keep my head above water. But my Father, He is the tallest, strongest building along that beach and if I set my eyes on Him, and follow His path I will find my way home. Maybe not on the path I thought I would take, and I might catch a wave or two along the way that spins me or crashes against me, leaving scrapes and bruises; maybe even scars. But when I have finally reached my finish line, and I fall down face first into the sand, He will see those scars and still call me beautiful. He will gather me in His arms and whisper in my ear, "Welcome home".

Just thinkin'.....

So, I haven't been at this for a while, but I did warn you of that in the first post :) I figured it was about time that I checked in though. So, life is continuing on, as it always seems to do despite my best efforts to make it come to a standstill some times. School is fast approaching and while I am leary of the many essays that will innevitably be in my future, I am actually looking forward to being one year closer to reaching my goal. I have to watch it this year though. Ask my family or pretty much anyone who knew me during fall and winter semesters, and they will tell you I put way too much stock in my studies last year. It took a few good friends to slapping me upside the head and reminding me that there were things that were more important in life. It hurt, but it worked. Anyways, I've got a few other things on my plate coming up as well. Besides more school stuff, registration and what not, I have a placement that I am currently trying to fill. For my second year CHYS course this year, I am required to spend three hours once a week, working with children in some setting; this absolutely thrills me :) Finally, something about school that, while it is manditory for the course, I can do whole heartedly. So, hopefully I will be able to post good news about that soon :)

On non school related news, I have begun to run again. I told myself that I was going to run everyday this summer when the summer began and, in my typical fashion, fell short of this. I then began running again while on vacation with my family and even got the chance to run on the beach in the mornings, which was amazing. I have a seperate post about that which I will put up later that I actually wrote while I was on the trip. All that to say, one of the purchases while were away, wound up being a new pair of running shoes, which I have been putting to good use. I have also finally found someone to run with, which is more helpful than I thought it would be. I find that no matter which one of us sets the pace, I want us both to finish our run at the same time, so I will keep going, past the point where I would have stopped if I was on my own. I'm not sure how long it will last, but for the moment I'm excited about it.

Well, that's about it for today. I still don't even know if anyone reads this but it's still proving to be a great outlet for me. Bye for now :)

God Bless

Meaghan :)