a mask of meekness....

So, I am sitting here, sipping a coffee, and reflecting on the day. It wasn't very eventful, although it did provoke some interesting questions in my mind. The one that keeps rolling through my head is the topic of identity. I had my first bible study tonight with and on campus christian group that I've become connected with this year. We are doing a study of the book of John and the indepth questioning of the first part of the chapter tonight were great. But as I was driving home I kept thinking about, well...me. I know that probably sounds a bit self centred, but let me explain. For the majority of my life, I have had a label. I am the quiet, passive, obliging young lady who speaks when she's spoken too. I'm never the first one to raise my hand, heaven forbit offer an opinion. And what I came to realize again tonight was that I have carried that with me for a long time, and it has come to define me. For people who know me, I feel I'm expected to behave in this way. The unfortunate part is that even coming into new group settings, I continued to portray that side of myself, even if it wasn't truely who I had become.

So tonight, this year in all honesty, I want that to change. I don't need to hide behind a mask of meekness, I am ready to step out boldly. God has been showing me many things over the past year, and one of them is simply that I am missing so much. So many opportunities to grow; grow in relationship with others, branch out and start new relationships and, especially, grow closer to Him. I am not defined by who I was but who I am now. I am created anew.

I am currently reading "Practicing His Presence" by Brother Lawrence (just as I said with Irresistable Revolution, read it, it'll change you). The author's lifestyle was to be in constant prayer with God, a continuous conversation (crazyily simple, yet amazingly hard core stuff!). There's a quote from the end of the chapter that I just finished that says, " every minute can be a fresh beginning". I think I like that :)

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old is gone, the new has come!"

~2 Corinthians 5:17~

That's all for now, talk to you soon :)

God Bless :)

Running on the Beach <3

As promised, here is the journal/blog written on vacation, during which time I was without Internet...

Waves are incredible. They have both beauty in their colour and mist and power in their size and current, that can sweep you off your feet in an instant. Waves can also erase. This week as I ran along the beach in Ocean City, I was reminded of the footprints poem that sits on my desk at home. I would run along the shoreline leaving a trail behind me, only to have a wave come and wash the evidence of my existence away. I had to rely on the buildings erected further back along the beach to get myself back to my starting point. A land mark closer to the water could be swept away in the blink of an eye. I am like those landmarks, those footprints, I change with the tide. I can be swept away in the depth of my emotions, running so deep that i feel like I can't keep my head above water. But my Father, He is the tallest, strongest building along that beach and if I set my eyes on Him, and follow His path I will find my way home. Maybe not on the path I thought I would take, and I might catch a wave or two along the way that spins me or crashes against me, leaving scrapes and bruises; maybe even scars. But when I have finally reached my finish line, and I fall down face first into the sand, He will see those scars and still call me beautiful. He will gather me in His arms and whisper in my ear, "Welcome home".