I'm Such a Martha....

Hey there :)
Happy Thanksgiving! I have so many things to be thankful for this year, and just in general. I'm learning to smack myself upside the head more often, and look around to see all of the amazing people and opportunities that God has placed into my life that I simply take for granted. I have been thinking a lot lately along those lines...priorities, putting God first and being eternally minded when it comes to what I say and what I do.
I am a person who gets stressed out pretty easily, as much as I try not to. Combined with my inherent ability to procrastinate, this can make keeping up with school and readings quite an interesting experience. However, God always seems to bring good out of even stressful situations, and manages to teach me something. This week, it was through Mary and Martha.
I hadn't thought of this particular bible story in many years, but it was brought to mind through a song from one of the Donut Man videos that I used to watch when I was little. A skit along with it, the song tells the story or 2 women who were having Jesus over to their house for a meal. When Jesus arrives, Mary sits down in front of Him and simply listens to him speak, talks with Him, and spends time with Him. Martha, on the other hand, is in the kitchen, cooking the meal, cleaning up, making sure everything is ready. During the course of the evening Martha gets really frustrated with Mary, wanting her to come and help with the meal, and get everything prepared. But Jesus steps in and gently reminds Martha that Mary is the one who has chosen correctly, simply by choosing Him.
This story always bugged me. Not because I don't believe it's true, or that I think it's wrong....but deep down, I think I always sympathised related to Martha even though I wanted to be like Mary. I mean, for pete's sake, you're having Jesus over for dinner!!!! I would want every inch of my place to be spotless, to cook the best meal I had ever made and just have everything, well...perfect! This is the Son of God we're talking about! But then I pause and hear His whisper..."Martha...Martha...Meaghan...choose me instead. Instead of the cleaning, instead of the perfection, instead of the stress, instead of the feelings of self doubt, and 'not good enough'...choose me. Come and sit at my feet and just be for awhile. Talk to me, let me talk to you. Tell me about what you're so stressed about, tell me about your joys, your sorrows your fears...open up my word and lets look at some of it together...let me guide your mind and your heart as you read through my thoughts and promises...I love you, and I want to spend time with you...
When you think of it like that, why I even want to be a Martha? But I think it happens to all of us. And, I've found, it can even happen when we're doing His work...and I would argue that that's the most dangerous time it can happen. Nothing should be placed before God in our lives...not even things that He's given us a passion for. So, youth leading, bible study, able church...all of these things should be and are passions that are on my heart and come straight from God. But, they are not, and should not turn into my gods. And I confess that I can be guilty of that.
So, that would be my prayer for myself and for you this week...that we would be Mary's in a world of Martha's. That doesn't mean that we abandon our passions by any means...when God places something on your heart, you grab a hold of it and never let go, He can and will do amazing things through you if you let Him :) We just have to be careful that those passions don't take the place of time with God in our lives. Take time to just sit with God this week, talk to Him and listen for His whispers, tell Him about your day, thank Him for all He's done and just...breathe. He loves spending time with us...how amazing is that, the God of the UNIVERSE not only likes to but WANTS to spend time with you and me. I can't help but smile at that :)
Well, that's all for now I think. I hope you all have a splendid week! Don't ever forget how much you are loved <3
Lots of Love
God Bless
Meaghan :)
ps - here is the link for that donut man song I mentioned :) about 30 sec in til 3:15ish is the Mary and Martha song :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=io8vh6uQXUA&feature=related

Find Him in the Everyday...

Hey there :)
So, I'm just gonna make this one a quickie, because frankly, I need sleep :P But(and I know I say this every year), but I really do want to make this blog more of a consistant thing, so hopefully this will be the start. I have a hard time with these "just checking in" posts, because I always feel the need to be uber spiritual, or be really poetic when I write...inspire someone, make someone's day, that kind of thing. In all honesty, that can be the reason why I don't blog, simply becuase I feel like I don't have much to say.
But as I was going through my day in my head, I started thinking about all of the little things, the places I went, the people I spent time with, the emotions I felt, the things that I read...and how God can show Himself to you, even in those small things. So, just as a recap;

~ in the laughter of my sister, I was reminded of God's joy
~ in the walk through the woods, I was able to marvel at God's creation
~ in the soft whispers of a reassuring voice, I was reminded of how He leads me on, everyday, even when I'm scared and confused
~ in the busyness and stress of and open house, I was reminded of all that I have, and all that is provided from His hand.
~ in a long awaited e-mail, I was reminded again of what my focus needs to be
~ in reading the blog of a friend, I was reminded of the importance of being in constant conversation with my heavenly father, and how His power is made known in weakness.
~ through strained conversation, I was reminded how important communication is, especially with family, who I love so dearly

So, that's what He taught me today...and it only took me until 11:47 to figure it out :P It is so easy to miss what is directly in front of me, it really frustrates me sometimes :P So that would be my prayer for you as we begin a new day...that you would fix your eyes on Jesus, knowing that He longs for relationship with you, more deeply and intimately than you could ever imagine, and that you would stop and take time to listen for His voice, and notice His hand, in the everyday :) Lots of love til next time :)
God Bless
Meaghan :)
~Romans 8:38~

A Letter to Myself :)

Hello there :)
So, here we are again, getting closer and closer to when school begins, buying all of the annual supplies, trying (and in my case, failing), to some what regulate our sleeping patterns once again so that we can wake up at 6 am to catch the bus, but still be vertical by 10:30 :P I'm actually looking forward to school quite a bit this year. The majority of the classes that I'm taking I'm actually interested in, and it will be nice to fall into somewhat of a routine again.
I got to think about high school a bit this week too. My brother will be starting grade 9 this year (which still seems crazy to me :P), and my youngest sister will be in grade 11. But the thing that realy got me thinking about highschool this week was something that I got to do, something that I had been waiting to do for 5 years...I got to open a letter :)
In my 10th grade english class, my teacher made us each write a letter to ourselves in the future. It wasn't really for any kind of grade, I think we even got the marks just for completing it. The teacher asked us to write the letter, seal it in an envelope and then write on the back when we would be allowed to open it. She then collected all of the letters and distributed them on the last day of class for us to keep.
I opened my letter to find it riddled with questions. In fact, that was pretty much all that it was, from the silly questions about whether or not I still had a crush on the same boy to questions about family, health and future plans. Alot of it made me laugh, some of it made me cry. But one thing stood out to me more than anything else...so much of what I was struggling with 5 years ago, I am still struggling with now. I asked about my faith journey, my relationship with God, and if I still procrastinated like crazy. I asked about my relationship with my family, especially my siblings, and talked about how important that was. It really made me stop and think.
I have done a lot of 'looking back' this year, seeing where God has taken me, how He's been working on my heart and in my life. I see how He has been continuing His work in me and how He's been shaping me from the 15 year old girl in a grade 10 english class, to growing closer to woman that He wants me to become. I am blown away by the changes that I've seen, but I am also mindful of what still needs to be changed and worked on. I still have a long way to go.
But if I've learned nothing else this summer it's that I don't have to do it on my own. To think for a second that I got to where I am today on my own strength is a lie, and I need to remember to wake up each morning and surrender the day to Him. When I'm weak, then I'm strong, because God is strong, and He is working in me to shine through my weaknesses so I can give Him glory.
All that from a silly letter :) Never underestimate the things that God will use to show you about your life and make you examine your heart just a little bit closer. Maybe I should write another letter to myself, for another 5 years away...who knows where I'll be. I think that's the beauty of it though, no one but God truely knows where I'll be, and while that scares me in some respects, it excites me so much more, because that means that I have the creator of the universe, the lover of my soul, as my guide...how could I ask for anything more? :)

Lots of Love
God Bless
Meaghan :)
~Romans 8:38~

When God Takes a Hold of Your Heart

Hey there :)
So, my last post on here was in April which is pure craziness :P I always said that this was going to be an every now and again deal, but I'm hoping to try and keep it more consistant than that from now on. So, as you can imagine, a lot has happened to me since April, which it normally does. God has been taking my on a lot of crazy journeys, some breezy and beautiful, some frustrating and "pounding a brick wall" material. But I feel like the climax to these journeys, the door that finally opened to show me a bit more of what God wants and has for me, came this summer in Athelstane WI.
I'm not sure if I posted anything about this before, but I was in Wisconsin for about a month this summer, working as a camp councelor. The camp I was at is called Camp Daniel, and it is specifically for adults and children with disabilities. The ratio of camper to councelor is one to one, so you are paired with your camper at the beginning of the week and do everything with them. It was, seriously, one of the most life, mind and heart changing times of my life.
I found right off th bat that the position I held was going to require total sacrifice. Not just a bit of sacrifice and then time for me (which I came to realise that was what I was used to), but complete selflessness from 7 or 8 in the morning until 9 at night. I don't think I've been that tired, but I also don't think I've felt that satisfaction or that sense of purpose before either.
Before the camper arrived, we had quite a few hours of orientation, letting us know how everything was going to run, what to expect, things like that. That's also where I found the drive and determination to give the week my all for whoever I was paired with. For most of the campers, the week at Camp Daniel is something they look forward to all year. There are campers who pack weeks, sometimes months in advance. The story was told of one camper who begins calling three months before camp starts to find out which team he will be on. It is a place where the campers feel safe, like they belong, and they are free to be themselves, even if it's only for the week.
The other thing shared at orientation that really changed my perspective was regarding the spiritual side of the week. We were told that we were the "Jesus person" in our campers life for the week. Alot of the campers had never been to church before or really had any positive encounters with Christianity. I'll be honest, that freaked me out just as much as it motivated me :P.
So, as I look back on all that I just wrote, it really is a lot of and describing and not a whole lot of explaining. This summer has been a huge eye opener for me. There is a whole culture of people, those who have disabilities, that separate ourselves from. They have amazing gifts and talents that go un noticed and pushed aside because they are deemed different. This has become especially apparent to me within the context of the church. There are campers there who are amazing prayer warriors, lead the worship teams, and the genuine way that they simply worship the Lord together is one of the purest and most honest things I've ever experienced.
So that's all for now. My heart and me head are full, and so I will fill you in on more of what's going on soon. It really is amazing what God will do with your heart when you surrender it to Him. Talk to you soon!
Lots of Love
God Bless
Meaghan :)
~Romans 8:38~

Say what you need to say....

What would you do if you were told you only had 5 years left to live? I don't know why, but I started thinking about that today while in the middle of studying for my exam tomorrow. I started day dreaming of all of the things that I would change...I would throw aside my fears, not let silly things stand in the way of what I knew I needed to do, the things I needed to say...I would hop on the next plane to Africa, travel to all the places that I said I would "eventually" visit. I wouldn't let what other people thought stand in the way anymore...I would walk slower down the street, never let my priorities get out of whack....and then I stopped, and wondered why I wasn't doing all of that now. What happened to living life to the fullest? Living every second for God, and pushing procrastination off that cliff once and for all? The other thing that popped into my head was about sharing my faith. That has been the topic of discussion over the past couple of weeks at youth, and it really smacked me upside the head today. Lord, let me throw aside my fear where living for You is concerned. May I live each day as if it's my last...I'm not expecting everyday to be rainbows and sunshine, for it is in trusting You through my struggles that I grow stronger and closer. But may I wake up every morning and thank You for the gift of a new day, and may I never take it for granted.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt58Z_XuGe4

<3>

Hello again :)

Today has been a good day. My fridays consist of a 9am class and then work until 4, which was good. I have to be careful not to just simply go through the motions of my day, to tune out the small things, creation, God's voice. I was walking to school this morning with the sun rising in front of me....it was so beautiful. The God who created me created that....so amazing! :)

So, the other pretty awesome part of my day was a prayer meeting that happened in my living room this evening. As a bit of a backstory, I am a part of a bible study that meets every Sunday night. A lot of us went to highschool together, and it's a pretty great group to be a part of :) So, we had been talking a lot about prayer lately and as a group decided that we wanted to have one day out of the week, aside from Sunday where we got together and just pray. So that what we did tonight, and it was so good :) It wound up just being three of us who could make it but we just sat together and talked to God with whatever was on our hearts. I really do hope that it is something that we will continue on a weekly basis. Hopefully with school finishing soon, people's schedules will be a bit less crazy and more people can come, but even with just three it was such a good time of quiet and reflection.

Well, that's about it for now :) This was a short one but I really wanted to share about tonight. Plus, I have to work tomorrow, so sleep needs to happen fairly soon :P I'll catch up with you later :)

Lots of Love

Hey there :)

So, it has been ages since I have written here, so I thought I would give you a bit of a life update. School is coming to a close for this year, which will see the end of my second year of university :) I am looking forward to it being finished for sure. This year has been one of those "required" years where school is concerned. A lot of manditory courses, but ones that will help me in upper years for sure. I look forward to next year with much excitement though :) I have the opportunity to take a specialised Autism course, disabilities courses, a sign language class, as well as the possibility for a teaching assistant position for a first year class :) Oh, so in case I haven't talked about this yet, my career path has changed a bit. Where I started out wanting to be a french teacher (I don't know what I was thinking :P), then was thinking about teaching in a special needs classroom, I am now hoping to pursue a career in occupational therapy :) It will mean a couple more years of schooling than I had origionally thought, but it will be so worth it :) I can't explain how amazing to know that God has opened my eyes to this, that he has given me a passion and a purpose to work with these kids. I went from pretty much wandering aimlessly in my first year, just getting through, to grabbing hold of this passion this year and running with it :)

Which leads me to my super cool exciting summer plans......Camp Daniel! :) It is a camp in the states, specifically for children and adults with disabilities and it is looking like I will be counceling there this coming July and August :) This, again, was one of those "God moments". I had e-mailed the camp director saying that I would love to come and councel for as many weeks as I could but....and then I gave a list of all the reasons why I thought it probably wouldn't work; I wouldn't be able to get there until a day before camp started, I didn't have a ride to and from the airport, I didn't really have any formal training, I was unsure about flights....I'm good at that, making excuses. But, God is bigger than my excuses (thank goodness!). The first line of the e-mail I received back was, "I want you to know that we will do everything we can to make this work for you"....and then she went on the slash all my excuses in half....every single one! :) So, all that to say, God is good, and I am super excited for what this summer has in store for me :)

I have been thinking a lot about listening for God and following Him in the day to day. I just finished reading a blog that almost made me cry, that got me thinking about it even more. If you have a second check it out (search kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com). She is a young woman in her mid 20's who lives in Uganda and has adopted upwards of 11 children (I can't remember the exact number, sorry :( ). Her blog speaks of her constant reliance on God for necessities, but also for strength, emotional needs....everything. She gave up everything for His calling on her life. Love shines through every paragraph she writes....love for God and love for her children....and I cry because it is humbling...I cry because I have so much and yet I trust God with so little...I cry because I let the busyness of life crowd Him out and then I wonder why I feel so dry...I cry because there are so many out there who need His love and I am falling short...but I cry with hope....Father, awaken my heart, don't let me turn a blind eye to those children, to those that you have placed on my heart....

~now that I have seen,

I am responsible

Faith without deeds is dead

now that I have held you in my own arms,

I cannot let go~

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline".

~1 Timothy 2:17~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGx-xU6TnU8&NR=1

This Will Be My Resolution....It Could Start a Revolution....

Hey All :)

So, apparently the last time I posted on this thing was coming up on four months ago! For that....I say I told you so ;) It has been crazy around here; the first semester of second year finished up, Chirstmas and New Years came and went and I managed to procrastinate on every reading assignment I was supposed to to over the break :P All that to say, school is beginning again for me tomorrow and I have been thinking as of late that it is time for me to make some changes in my life.

I have talked a bit before about fear and how it can hold me back from a lot of things in life; emotionally, relationally, spiritually, sometimes even physically. And while the fear is still an aspect of my life that I have to struggle with, I would like to bring forth a new topic....a fresh perspective if you will. I would like to discuss with you the New Years Resolution.

I never stick to them :P Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I know that I'm going to fail somewhere a long the way, so my New Years resolutions tend to get less and less gutsy as the years go on. However, I have been thinking a lot about starting anew, fresh and how that does not by any means have to be confined to the first of January. Now, most people would agree with me on that, but our reasonings might differ slightly. But, I would like to share with you my reason that I have the ability to get up each morning, and say today is new and I can start again.

I don't know what you believe, and depending on who is reading this, you could find this next bit to be a bunch of baloney....but I believe it with every part of me. I serve a God of second and third and forty-fifth chances, a God who loves me unconditionally, who created me and who calls me His daughter. Every morning, I can wake up and give my day to Him. I can place every struggle, fear, worry...everything, at His feet and He invites me to do that.....isn't that insane! :)

I believe I've mentioned it before, but I was reading a book recently called Practicing His Presence by Brother Lawrence, and it talks about being in constant conversation with God. In one section, he touches on the issue of becoming discouraged when you are trying to stay in conversation with God but your mind wanders, you get busy, etc. He talks about how every second can be a new beginning. How, when you find your mind wandering, you can simply pull yourself back, ask for forgiveness and strength and start again. So, that would be my prayer for you this new year, and for myself as well. That we would wake up every morning, giving our day to Him. And that we would treat every day....maybe even every second, as New Years Day and strive to grow closer to the One who transends time. Talk to 'yall later :)

Lots of Love

God Bless

Meaghan :)