Falling At Your Feet....

Good Morning All :)
So, my typical 8 am class was cancelled today, so I have some time on my hands before my day gets busy, and I thought I would check in :) This is seriously becoming a monthly thing, but I think that's alright, at least for now. So, a little catch up on life:
- school is almost done!!!! a couple more assignments and test to go, and then I'm home free :)
- summer is looking promising...planning meetings starting up for able church that should begin in september, and of course Camp Daniel is is the forseeable future which always brightens my spirits
- I am constantly encouraged and challenged by a God who loves me so much, even when I forget that He's so near to me

That last point is the one that's really been on my heart lately. I have really been getting caught up in the busyness of life over the past couple of months, letting stresses and worries consume, trying to do it on my own strength (and we all know how well that works :S) I have been feeling the dryness of spirit that comes from and inconsistent relationship with God and with a community that I do desperately need to remain focussed and encouraged in my journey.
It has been my experience though, that when I am at my lowest is when I can feel God's arms around me the tightest; when everything else seems to have fallen away and He truly is the only one I can turn to...and I fall at his feet. Now, when I think to hard about that, I get kind of embarassed. You see, that's exactly the kind of person I don't want to be, right? You know the kind of person who seems distant and silent until there's a problem, until there's a need for a shoulder to cry on...then they're calling out your name. I've been that person on many ocasions, but it's scary sometimes to think that that's how my relationship with God can be. I want to be able to come to Him with the good and the bad, and sit at his feet and listen, not just cry at His feet.
There is most definitely a balance, one that I am constantly trying to figure out and maintain. But, the most amazing part is this...while our earthly friendships may sometimes fade, His love for us never, EVER does! Regardless of how many times we fall at His feet, in tears again for the way that we've acted or what we've done, He hasn't turned away. He lifts our face, holds us close and whispers in our ear, "I love you...I created you...you are mine...come back to me again" My heart is just overflowing with joy as I write this guys! To have a heavenly Father like that, it's just....wow :)
To end off, I wanted to tell a story of sorts. I have a younger sister, still in highschool, who I have been so encouraged by over the past couple months. I see her growing in her faith, proclaiming it to others, and over flowing with love for those around her, both her friends and in the community. It has encouraged, challenged and strengthened me in my own walk with God and others in so many ways. This week she was involved with a missons project of sorts, serving those in our community and others as well. She posted a reflection of her week, and I wanted to share some of it with you, to encourage you as well:

So I urge you, never take for granted the life you have, and love like it is the only thing you've ever known. Freedom really is here, floating around as if it is invisible. I pray that our eyes be opened, that we don't settle for a life that comes nowhere near to the life God has planned for us. We so often become insensitive to the passion God wants to place in our hearts. We go to a conference, or event that stirs something in our hearts. But for how long? An hour? A week? This week, had the potential to truly change lives, and I pray that you don't let those experiences pass you by. Let your heart be broken. We CAN make a difference. We CAN change our hearts.
Love is what this world needs. After seeing the devastation of the community we live in, it became clear. People are searching for something, they just don't know what. Love is infectious. It is what we are called to do. And it is the cry of my heart that we may grad ahold of this, and never let it go.

Let your love be infectious this week. Let it spur you on to exclaim all that He has done for you to the world. Let us not be silent, let us run this race, and keep pushing on, and one day, finish well. Let us fall at the feet of our Saviour, in times of joy, saddness, triumph and pain...may we be children of light, and may that light never be extinguished!
God Bless
Meaghan :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifC88SSQvBU

Those Who Hunger and Thirst....

Hey All,
I just want to point out that this is the quickest follow up post that I've had in a long time :) I like being able to post because it means a couple of things. Firstly, it means that I have something exciting to share, something that God has shown me throughout my day, my week, or something that I've FINALLY opened up my eyes to see about my life, that He's been trying to show me for so long. The second thing is two fold. Posting means that I have time. Away from school, stress and the busyness that can be life, to sit down and pour out my heart through this computer. This either happens because I actually do have a free afternoon (which I'll admit, is rare) or because I've made a choice, to quiet myself, my mind and my heart in the midst of everything, and just be. That is what today is. I am sitting at school inbetween classes, sipping tea and just enjoying taking some deep breaths :) So, what is the exciting thing that God showed me this week that I get to share with you????? :)
Every sunday night, I meet with a wonderful group of people my age to study God's word and learn more about Him. This began almost three years ago, and I have been so incredibly blessed by the amazing friends that I have made and the ways that they continue to support me and challenge me in my faith. This past sunday, we began a study on the beatitudes, which was amazingly encouraging. We went through the first few verses, but the one that I want to share with you is Matthew 5:6 - "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied"
The question was asked, "what does it mean to really hunger and thirst, what does it feel like?" This is part that got me thinking, because so many things came to mind;
- you are dry
- you are tired and drained
- you can thinking of nothing but quenching your thirst, satisfying the hunger
- that first sip of water, the first morsel of food, is amazingly satisfying
I started thinking about my own life, the times when I've neglected to really fill my day with Him, be satisfied by His word and His presence. When I get so busy that it get's put on the back burner, I can feel it. My spirit becomes dry, in my weakness, I try to take on this world alone, and I fail. The scary part is, that if I do this long enough, I begin to think that I don't need him. Just as someone who goes without food, eventually looses that feeling of "hunger". But replaces it is a feeling of emptiness, I hole that can be filled only by the food that you crave. It is here that I am so thankful that I serve a God of grace and second chances. For no matter how far we have strayed, no matter how long we have said "I can do this on my own, I can survive", when we turn back around and run home to Him, He is there, with His arms wide open. He is ready to quench our thirsty souls with His love and forgiveness and feed us with His word, revealing to us new truths and mercies every time we turn the page. May you be filled today, by the amazing God of the universe who loves you soooooooo much and is the only one who can fill that empty space; may we hunger and thirst for Him :)

A Year of Fearing Less...

Today has been a wonderful day. I'll admit, it didn't start out that way. I awoke to the musical sound of my alarm that, despite it happy tune still made me cringe. You see, today was the first day of a new semester and my day began at 6:00 am. So out of bed I got and immediately started praying; for strength,for alertness, for a day filled with God. But I have found it to be true that even with this somewhat spiritual start to my day, my priorities can get way off track as my day progresses. The weight of the world begins to pull me down, my eyes turn from the one who can take that burden away, to the things of this world that I use to distract and temporarily satisfy; busyness, school, running around simply so I don't have time to stop and confront myself. And my Saviour, my Jesus, the one who is running right along side of me, begging me to slow down, take a breathe, and just talk to Him about it, He gets lost in the fast paced life that has become so common for me.
Now, at this point you're probably thinking, "wow, this is a bit of a downer, didn't this post start out with 'this was a wonderful day'?" And you're right. But I have also come to discover that throughout my day, it is the small things that I must begin to recognise and thank God for, in the blessings that speed past me that I need to see God. Tonight, that was found in a conversation with a friend; a friend who has been on my heart for quite some time, and who God has been pushing me to talk to. You see, God is all knowing, and I am so ridiculously naive sometimes. For He brought into me life a beautiful and wonderful woman of God who cried with me, laughed with me, prayed with me and uttered the words that helped me to finally breathe a huge sigh of relief..."I know exactly how you feel".
We all have our struggles. Some of us recognise and take hold of them, tackling them with the help of those around us and our Father in heaven. While there are also those of us who feel ashamed, that we must hide these struggles for fear of what others may think or feel towards us as a result. My dear friends, we were made for community, to bear each other's burdens, and walk along side each other, loving each other just as Christ loves us. Don't do it alone. It is the hardest and most freeing thing to be able to be vunerable, sharing with other brothers and sisters in Christ what it is that you are struggling with and asking for help and for prayer.
The last thing I wanted to talk about was this past Sunday. It was baptism Sunday at my church, which is always exciting for me. While I am excited for those giving their testimony at the front of the church, it aslo gives me the chance to examine my own heart and take a closer look at my relationship with God. One of the girls sharing her testimory, who is also a friend of mine, was sharing about her outlook on this year to come and how she has decided to label it "the year of fearing less". Not being "fearless", for with fearlessness can come irresponsibility and recklessness. But a year in which those things that we fear that hold us back, that keep us from fulfilling our God-given passions and purposes, that they would be blown out of the water. That that fear would be layed at the foot of the cross, never to hinder us again. So that is my prayer this year, and it is my prayer for you as well. I have to remember that these things take time. I can easily fall into the trap of expecting everything to be rainbows and sunshine from now on when I know that's simply not how it works. It's going to mean daily, waking up and committing the day to God, laying all of my struggles and insecurities at His feet, knowing that I will most likely stumble and fall at some point, but that He will be right there to catch me.

Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
You you'll never win

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

I choose to listen to His voice and His alone. And as my beautiful friend Whitney says, let us make this a year of fearing less :)

Lots of Love
God Bless
Meaghan :) <3
~Romans 8:38~

I'm Such a Martha....

Hey there :)
Happy Thanksgiving! I have so many things to be thankful for this year, and just in general. I'm learning to smack myself upside the head more often, and look around to see all of the amazing people and opportunities that God has placed into my life that I simply take for granted. I have been thinking a lot lately along those lines...priorities, putting God first and being eternally minded when it comes to what I say and what I do.
I am a person who gets stressed out pretty easily, as much as I try not to. Combined with my inherent ability to procrastinate, this can make keeping up with school and readings quite an interesting experience. However, God always seems to bring good out of even stressful situations, and manages to teach me something. This week, it was through Mary and Martha.
I hadn't thought of this particular bible story in many years, but it was brought to mind through a song from one of the Donut Man videos that I used to watch when I was little. A skit along with it, the song tells the story or 2 women who were having Jesus over to their house for a meal. When Jesus arrives, Mary sits down in front of Him and simply listens to him speak, talks with Him, and spends time with Him. Martha, on the other hand, is in the kitchen, cooking the meal, cleaning up, making sure everything is ready. During the course of the evening Martha gets really frustrated with Mary, wanting her to come and help with the meal, and get everything prepared. But Jesus steps in and gently reminds Martha that Mary is the one who has chosen correctly, simply by choosing Him.
This story always bugged me. Not because I don't believe it's true, or that I think it's wrong....but deep down, I think I always sympathised related to Martha even though I wanted to be like Mary. I mean, for pete's sake, you're having Jesus over for dinner!!!! I would want every inch of my place to be spotless, to cook the best meal I had ever made and just have everything, well...perfect! This is the Son of God we're talking about! But then I pause and hear His whisper..."Martha...Martha...Meaghan...choose me instead. Instead of the cleaning, instead of the perfection, instead of the stress, instead of the feelings of self doubt, and 'not good enough'...choose me. Come and sit at my feet and just be for awhile. Talk to me, let me talk to you. Tell me about what you're so stressed about, tell me about your joys, your sorrows your fears...open up my word and lets look at some of it together...let me guide your mind and your heart as you read through my thoughts and promises...I love you, and I want to spend time with you...
When you think of it like that, why I even want to be a Martha? But I think it happens to all of us. And, I've found, it can even happen when we're doing His work...and I would argue that that's the most dangerous time it can happen. Nothing should be placed before God in our lives...not even things that He's given us a passion for. So, youth leading, bible study, able church...all of these things should be and are passions that are on my heart and come straight from God. But, they are not, and should not turn into my gods. And I confess that I can be guilty of that.
So, that would be my prayer for myself and for you this week...that we would be Mary's in a world of Martha's. That doesn't mean that we abandon our passions by any means...when God places something on your heart, you grab a hold of it and never let go, He can and will do amazing things through you if you let Him :) We just have to be careful that those passions don't take the place of time with God in our lives. Take time to just sit with God this week, talk to Him and listen for His whispers, tell Him about your day, thank Him for all He's done and just...breathe. He loves spending time with us...how amazing is that, the God of the UNIVERSE not only likes to but WANTS to spend time with you and me. I can't help but smile at that :)
Well, that's all for now I think. I hope you all have a splendid week! Don't ever forget how much you are loved <3
Lots of Love
God Bless
Meaghan :)
ps - here is the link for that donut man song I mentioned :) about 30 sec in til 3:15ish is the Mary and Martha song :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=io8vh6uQXUA&feature=related

Find Him in the Everyday...

Hey there :)
So, I'm just gonna make this one a quickie, because frankly, I need sleep :P But(and I know I say this every year), but I really do want to make this blog more of a consistant thing, so hopefully this will be the start. I have a hard time with these "just checking in" posts, because I always feel the need to be uber spiritual, or be really poetic when I write...inspire someone, make someone's day, that kind of thing. In all honesty, that can be the reason why I don't blog, simply becuase I feel like I don't have much to say.
But as I was going through my day in my head, I started thinking about all of the little things, the places I went, the people I spent time with, the emotions I felt, the things that I read...and how God can show Himself to you, even in those small things. So, just as a recap;

~ in the laughter of my sister, I was reminded of God's joy
~ in the walk through the woods, I was able to marvel at God's creation
~ in the soft whispers of a reassuring voice, I was reminded of how He leads me on, everyday, even when I'm scared and confused
~ in the busyness and stress of and open house, I was reminded of all that I have, and all that is provided from His hand.
~ in a long awaited e-mail, I was reminded again of what my focus needs to be
~ in reading the blog of a friend, I was reminded of the importance of being in constant conversation with my heavenly father, and how His power is made known in weakness.
~ through strained conversation, I was reminded how important communication is, especially with family, who I love so dearly

So, that's what He taught me today...and it only took me until 11:47 to figure it out :P It is so easy to miss what is directly in front of me, it really frustrates me sometimes :P So that would be my prayer for you as we begin a new day...that you would fix your eyes on Jesus, knowing that He longs for relationship with you, more deeply and intimately than you could ever imagine, and that you would stop and take time to listen for His voice, and notice His hand, in the everyday :) Lots of love til next time :)
God Bless
Meaghan :)
~Romans 8:38~

A Letter to Myself :)

Hello there :)
So, here we are again, getting closer and closer to when school begins, buying all of the annual supplies, trying (and in my case, failing), to some what regulate our sleeping patterns once again so that we can wake up at 6 am to catch the bus, but still be vertical by 10:30 :P I'm actually looking forward to school quite a bit this year. The majority of the classes that I'm taking I'm actually interested in, and it will be nice to fall into somewhat of a routine again.
I got to think about high school a bit this week too. My brother will be starting grade 9 this year (which still seems crazy to me :P), and my youngest sister will be in grade 11. But the thing that realy got me thinking about highschool this week was something that I got to do, something that I had been waiting to do for 5 years...I got to open a letter :)
In my 10th grade english class, my teacher made us each write a letter to ourselves in the future. It wasn't really for any kind of grade, I think we even got the marks just for completing it. The teacher asked us to write the letter, seal it in an envelope and then write on the back when we would be allowed to open it. She then collected all of the letters and distributed them on the last day of class for us to keep.
I opened my letter to find it riddled with questions. In fact, that was pretty much all that it was, from the silly questions about whether or not I still had a crush on the same boy to questions about family, health and future plans. Alot of it made me laugh, some of it made me cry. But one thing stood out to me more than anything else...so much of what I was struggling with 5 years ago, I am still struggling with now. I asked about my faith journey, my relationship with God, and if I still procrastinated like crazy. I asked about my relationship with my family, especially my siblings, and talked about how important that was. It really made me stop and think.
I have done a lot of 'looking back' this year, seeing where God has taken me, how He's been working on my heart and in my life. I see how He has been continuing His work in me and how He's been shaping me from the 15 year old girl in a grade 10 english class, to growing closer to woman that He wants me to become. I am blown away by the changes that I've seen, but I am also mindful of what still needs to be changed and worked on. I still have a long way to go.
But if I've learned nothing else this summer it's that I don't have to do it on my own. To think for a second that I got to where I am today on my own strength is a lie, and I need to remember to wake up each morning and surrender the day to Him. When I'm weak, then I'm strong, because God is strong, and He is working in me to shine through my weaknesses so I can give Him glory.
All that from a silly letter :) Never underestimate the things that God will use to show you about your life and make you examine your heart just a little bit closer. Maybe I should write another letter to myself, for another 5 years away...who knows where I'll be. I think that's the beauty of it though, no one but God truely knows where I'll be, and while that scares me in some respects, it excites me so much more, because that means that I have the creator of the universe, the lover of my soul, as my guide...how could I ask for anything more? :)

Lots of Love
God Bless
Meaghan :)
~Romans 8:38~

When God Takes a Hold of Your Heart

Hey there :)
So, my last post on here was in April which is pure craziness :P I always said that this was going to be an every now and again deal, but I'm hoping to try and keep it more consistant than that from now on. So, as you can imagine, a lot has happened to me since April, which it normally does. God has been taking my on a lot of crazy journeys, some breezy and beautiful, some frustrating and "pounding a brick wall" material. But I feel like the climax to these journeys, the door that finally opened to show me a bit more of what God wants and has for me, came this summer in Athelstane WI.
I'm not sure if I posted anything about this before, but I was in Wisconsin for about a month this summer, working as a camp councelor. The camp I was at is called Camp Daniel, and it is specifically for adults and children with disabilities. The ratio of camper to councelor is one to one, so you are paired with your camper at the beginning of the week and do everything with them. It was, seriously, one of the most life, mind and heart changing times of my life.
I found right off th bat that the position I held was going to require total sacrifice. Not just a bit of sacrifice and then time for me (which I came to realise that was what I was used to), but complete selflessness from 7 or 8 in the morning until 9 at night. I don't think I've been that tired, but I also don't think I've felt that satisfaction or that sense of purpose before either.
Before the camper arrived, we had quite a few hours of orientation, letting us know how everything was going to run, what to expect, things like that. That's also where I found the drive and determination to give the week my all for whoever I was paired with. For most of the campers, the week at Camp Daniel is something they look forward to all year. There are campers who pack weeks, sometimes months in advance. The story was told of one camper who begins calling three months before camp starts to find out which team he will be on. It is a place where the campers feel safe, like they belong, and they are free to be themselves, even if it's only for the week.
The other thing shared at orientation that really changed my perspective was regarding the spiritual side of the week. We were told that we were the "Jesus person" in our campers life for the week. Alot of the campers had never been to church before or really had any positive encounters with Christianity. I'll be honest, that freaked me out just as much as it motivated me :P.
So, as I look back on all that I just wrote, it really is a lot of and describing and not a whole lot of explaining. This summer has been a huge eye opener for me. There is a whole culture of people, those who have disabilities, that separate ourselves from. They have amazing gifts and talents that go un noticed and pushed aside because they are deemed different. This has become especially apparent to me within the context of the church. There are campers there who are amazing prayer warriors, lead the worship teams, and the genuine way that they simply worship the Lord together is one of the purest and most honest things I've ever experienced.
So that's all for now. My heart and me head are full, and so I will fill you in on more of what's going on soon. It really is amazing what God will do with your heart when you surrender it to Him. Talk to you soon!
Lots of Love
God Bless
Meaghan :)
~Romans 8:38~