The Maker of Noses...

Hello again :)

I'm having "one of those nights"...the kind of night where my head and my heart are in over-drive, thinking about anything and everything, racing like it's their new found passion over think, over analyse, and keep me awake! It's been awhile since this has happened, and it's honestly because I've either been too busy or too tired :P It's been awhile since I've checked in, so I should probably update you before I continue....

About 4 months ago, I moved. I took a leap of faith, stepped out on my own and found myself in the crazy lovely city of Toronto. And I love it. I didn't think I would, I imagined myself getting lost in the bustle of the city streets, longing for home and counting down the days until my two years at George Brown College were up. Instead, I found myself marveling at beautiful skyscraper sunsets out my bedroom window, enjoying the hustle and bustle of my morning walks to school, and finding love and acceptance in a community of people who welcome me with open arms. I fit here, and I'm excited.

I am in the intervenor for individuals with deafblindness program (more to come on that...it's a whole post worth :) ). I. AM. LOVING IT! It's my heart. It's where I'm supposed to be. It's where God is calling me; and my heart has found joy again <3

So, back to my crazy head and heart! I am a person who can get lost in worry if I let myself. What will happen? How will this work? Will there be enough money? Did I finish this? How will I know? Am I doing enough? Am I doing to much? You get the idea...Tonight, my mind is wandering to the future. I have a program placement starting in January, an academic schedule that will be taking up the majority of my time, and a financial burden that can be stressful at times. I am lying in my bed as all of these thoughts are running through my mind and making my heart race....breathe in....breathe out...breathe in...breathe out..."talk to me"...it's that still, beautiful voice that I have forgotten to listen for over the past week. It's that gentle whisper of peace that begins to slow my racing heart and calm my mind for a moment. It's the God of the Universe reminding me that I don't have to do this, or anything else, alone.

"Father, I say, it's just too much, there's too many things I've forgotten to do, to many unknowns, what if I pick the wrong thing, or go the wrong way, what if I mess it all up?" I can almost feel His smile as my heart starts to slow even more; "Trust Me, He says, follow Me. I love you sooooooo much! and I've got this".

For Christmas this year, we got my dad a Rich Mullins CD, and he and I were listening to it in the car the other day. We had time for one last song before we arrived back home. He scanned the song list on the back of the CD case, and smiled as he changed it track 7. "You'll like this one", he said, and I did....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdspZ8Dexv0

~But the Father of hearts
and the maker of noses
and the giver of dreams
He's the one I have chosen
And I will follow Him~

He is the one who knows my heart, my today, my tomorrow, my yesterday...my forever. He's the one who has placed my dreams and passions in my heart and holds all of it in His hands. Pretty amazing :) So, it's off to bed for me, with a head and heart that are just a little bit quieter, a little bit slower. Will they get crazy again? Yes. Most definitely. It may even happen tomorrow. And when it does, I want to remember to stop, and listen, feel His smile and hear His gentle whisper, "I've got this."

Lots of Love
God Bless
Meaghan :)

Well hello there :) As usual, it's been awhile but you should be used to that by now ;) I have had a sunshine filled day so far, the Rankin Cancer Run was today! I started running 3 years ago and I look forward to it every year. I run for a lot of reasons. It's obviously good exercise, I run for many friends and family members who have battled cancer and who are still fighting, I run because I enjoy it. But today I realised maybe the most important reason that I run; community. There is something about a common cause, a shared hope, a unified fight, that brings people together. The Rankin Run in my hometown is held at a local park, and by the time 10:00 rolls around, the soccer field is a sea of white orage and green shirts. Everyone is smiling, running, walking towards the same goal, cheering each other on, total strangers become family if only for a morning. We all share something in common; I have become a part of their journey and they, a part of mine. It fills me with joy :) And as we leave the park there is a tug on my heart; I don't want it to end! This is my family, my community, it's what I long for. It's what I will always long for because it's I'm wired for. I'll be honest, I've been a bit lacking in community lately. People and seasons change, move on to different parts of life, new chapters of their story, and new chapters of mine. It reminds me how important it is to be connected, how precious my friends are, those who come and walk along side me through the good and the bad. I love the feeling of being in community, of belonging, of being a part of something that's bigger than me, of being loved. So, have I rambled on again? Probably :) But I think that's alright. I've gotten to tell you a little bit of my story, a little bit of my heart and maybe entered into community with you? Perhaps :) <3 God Bless

OOOPS....

well would you look at that....check out the post from may 23rd and from today....I guess that's what I used that blurb for :) Oh well, one thing never changes...God is still good <3

God Bless
Meaghan :)
~Matthew 11:28~

It's a mystery.....

hello :)
so, I was busy being busy this evening, working on a paper for school, e-mailing people back about Able Church, when I noticed a saved document in my Able Church file on my computer that I didn't recognize. I clicked on it, and up popped a small blurb, written by me, that looks like it was meant to presented in front of some sort of group of people. I can't remember when I wrote it, or why, or who it was supposed to be presented to...but I like it. It may sound weird and a bit arrogant, but let me explain a bit further. Life can get busy. We get tired and stressed...burned out. Passions, while they are still in our heart and mind, can die down a little when reality begins to hit again. But this mystery blurb that I found was written pre-reality. It was written from a mind and a heart that had been given a chance to rest and to dream and to get excited about those dreams. And, in truth, reading it has done something quite wonderful. It hasn't erased the stress, or instantly refreshed me. My body could still use a nap, and my mind a little vacation. What it has done, is reminded me that my passion, joy and excitement, hasn't gone away....and God is good <3


What are your weaknesses? This is the question that kept rolling around in my mind as I tried to think about what in the world I was going to say tonight. One of mine is the fact that I really hate speaking in front of people, ironically enough. But I do want you to think about that question…what are your weaknesses? What things in your life pull you down? Tempt you? Cause you to doubt? Break you? We all have stuff like that, we all have things that we wish we could overcome, we wish would just go away.
That doesn’t sound like the best way to begin sharing about what I am passionate about, but I promise there is a point. You see, I am passionate about disability ministry; but more importantly, my heart is full to overflowing with the possibility of what could happen when the church begins to more fully embrace the disability community, as they teach us how to live more fully in our weakness.
A pastor friend that I met at camp last summer explained it best for me. He used the analogy of a clay jar with cracks and crevices all over it. The jar is us, and the cracks and crevices are our weaknesses, the scars that we’ve suffered over the years, the things that we struggle with, the challenges that we face. The beautiful thing is that, when you place a candle inside this clay jar, it’s light shines through every single crack and crevice, and out into the world. The more we are broken, the more His light shines through us. My friend went on to talk about individuals with disabilities, the overabundance of suffering that they have experienced but because of that, how brightly God’s light shines through them. I don’t know if you have ever had the privilege of worshiping together with an individual with a disability, but it is incredibly moving and inspiring. There is a connection with God that can be seen on their faces, that I don’t know if I will ever experience this side of heaven. And I think I’m drawn to it.
Last year at camp, the theme was “we are strong” and it is so fitting. When we are weak, then we are strong, but we are strong in Him. When we try to do things on our own strength, we really do stumble. All of those weaknesses that you are faced with in your life, His glory can shine through them, as you proclaim that He is the one that is Your strength, and He is never going to tire, or stumble, or fall…never!
That’s why I get so excited about things like Camp and Able Church. It’s a chance for individuals with disabilities to be able to use the gifts and talents that God has given them, to have a place for fellowship and building of relationships; but it’s also an amazing opportunity for us to learn, how in our weakness we can be strong, strong in Him.
So, that’s basically it I think. I truly believe that this is a passion that God placed in my heart, and, like everything else He’s done and will do, it was for a purpose. Not only for things like Able Church and the disability community, but for even more personal reasons, reminding me daily how weak I am, but also how much I need Him in that, and how much He loves me and how much He wants me to come to Him, and rely on Him, have a relationship with Him, and let His light shine through all of my weaknesses.


God Bless
Meaghan :)
~Matthew 11:28~

Seasons Change...

Hey there :)
So, I've had the itch to write a little bit more lately, maybe I'm just in need of the outlet :) Today is a blustery fall day, there's a chill in the air and the promise of some rain this afternoon. Today is my day off (from school at least) so I'm sitting at the kitchen table...doing homework :P Yes, there is something wrong with that picture!
Regardless, I have quite the wonderful view out of the window from where I'm sitting. There is tree in our front yard who's leaves have turned the most beautiful golden orange color and it's making me smile. This is my favourite seasons and I love watching and waiting, seeing all the leaves changing into the most beautiful colors.
As I look out the window, I can see the small leaves of our front yard tree falling, almost as if one by one, leaving the lawn sprinkled with little specks of gold. It's beautiful. It's His creation. And I don't notice it enough. The beauty is all around me, all the time, but it's as if as the autumn season begins my eyes begin to open just that little bit more to the beauty of His Hands.
So, take a walk today. Maybe you've needed the chance to get away for awhile, it's been a stressful week and you just need some time to think and pray. Maybe it's been the best week of your life, and the prayers that you're singing are ones of thanksgiving as you walk. Or maybe, like me, you just need a reminder. You need to open your eyes just that little bit wider, look around and discover all of the amazing beauty around you. And don't ever forget, that the God of the universe, who made all that autumn beauty around you, also made you...and you are so incredibly precious to Him <3
I hope you have a wonderfully beautiful and blustery autumn day! :)
Lots of Love
God Bless
Meaghan :)

scratched stones and sprinkler rainbows....

well hello there,
back from my trip on the m.i.a train, as per usual, but things have been a little crazy around here lately. School and Able Church started up all at once, and my head is spinning a little bit with all there is to do :P But God is good <3 I have been feeling a little dry lately though to be honest, like all of the responsibility that I have on my plate has sucked up much of my energy. But I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who pursues me, and am becoming more aware of the necessity of slowing down, even if just to notice the small blessings and beauty He is longing for me to recognize.
Now, in all likelihood, these blessings that I am sharing, won't be that miraculous. They may even seem a bit silly. But I find the need to cherish these small God moments in seasons where I'm feeling a bit dry like I said, an maybe they will encourage you to look a little closer outside your window today....

The first happened when I was biking back to my house after babysitting two of the cutest little guys in the world :)I was a bit tired and honestly, just wanted to get home. All of a sudden, the sun reflected off of something on the road in front of me, shining a small light up at me. I passed it by not giving it too much thought, until a similar object caught my attention a little further up the road. I slowed down and realized it was a stone...the kind that you would put in the bottom of a goldfish bowl, or decorate the bottom of a vase of flowers. And I stopped, I turned around and, walking my bike I traced my steps hoping to find the small treasures. And I found 4. Three clear and one blue. They were a little bit rougher I'm sure then when they were first made, many scratches on their surface, some chips here and there. But when the sun shone down on them, boy did they shine....



The second happened as I was taking a walk around my neighborhood. I was heading towards the bus to go to school, and I noticed that the house around the corner had 3 sprinklers on in their front yard. My first thought was, "are you for real? It's way too cold to have your sprinklers on!" But, as I got closer, my perspective changed. For the sun was at just the right position in the sky that when it hit the water, it made the most beautiful rainbow...and I smiled...because something that had only moments ago caused my to question and judge, was now something beautiful...



My prayer for you today is that you might find beauty and wonder in unexpected places, that you would feel the warmth of the sun, and that you would never forget how much you are loved.

Lots of Love
God Bless
Meaghan :)

What Is Your Weakness.....

Happy long weekend! :)
Today is a bit of a lazy day, but that's not always such a bad thing :) So, today's post isn't too crazy, just something that I wrote for my bible study. This week we were talking about what we're passionate about, and this is what I decided to write...I hope you like it :)

What are your weaknesses? This is the question that kept rolling around in my mind as I tried to think about what in the world I was going to say tonight. One of mine is the fact that I really hate speaking in front of people, ironically enough. But I do want you to think about that question…what are your weaknesses? What things in your life pull you down? Tempt you? Cause you to doubt? Break you? We all have stuff like that, we all have things that we wish we could overcome, we wish would just go away.
That doesn’t sound like the best way to begin sharing about what I am passionate about, but I promise there is a point. You see, I am passionate about disability ministry; but more importantly, my heart is full to overflowing with the possibility of what could happen when the church begins to more fully embrace the disability community, as they teach us how to live more fully in our weakness.
A pastor friend that I met at camp last summer explained it best for me. He used the analogy of a clay jar with cracks and crevices all over it. The jar is us, and the cracks and crevices are our weaknesses, the scars that we’ve suffered over the years, the things that we struggle with, the challenges that we face. The beautiful thing is that, when you place a candle inside this clay jar, it’s light shines through every single crack and crevice, and out into the world. The more we are broken, the more His light shines through us. My friend went on to talk about individuals with disabilities, the overabundance of suffering that they have experienced but because of that, how brightly God’s light shines through them. I don’t know if you have ever had the privilege of worshiping together with an individual with a disability, but it is incredibly moving and inspiring. There is a connection with God that can be seen on their faces, that I don’t know if I will ever experience this side of heaven. And I think I’m drawn to it.
Last year at camp, the theme was “we are strong” and it is so fitting. When we are weak, then we are strong, but we are strong in Him. When we try to do things on our own strength, we really do stumble. All of those weaknesses that you are faced with in your life, His glory can shine through them, as you proclaim that He is the one that is Your strength, and He is never going to tire, or stumble, or fall…never!
That’s why I get so excited about things like Camp and Able Church. It’s a chance for individuals with disabilities to be able to use the gifts and talents that God has given them, to have a place for fellowship and building of relationships; but it’s also an amazing opportunity for us to learn, how in our weakness we can be strong, strong in Him.
So, that’s basically it I think. I truly believe that this is a passion that God placed in my heart, and, like everything else He’s done and will do, it was for a purpose. Not only for things like Able Church and the disability community, but for even more personal reasons, reminding me daily how weak I am, but also how much I need Him in that, and how much He loves me and how much He wants me to come to Him, and rely on Him, have a relationship with Him, and let His light shine through all of my cracks and crevices.

Lots of Love and Blessings :) <3

Tulips and Able Church...

Hola :)
The sun is streaming through the windows today, a nice change from the rain that has been coming down hard the past few days :) It is my day off, and I am home just enjoying the quiet BUT I had some wonderfully exciting news to share :) I've talked before about the Able Church that I visited in Wisconsin last summer, and how I felt God asking me to start a similar ministry here at home. So...we are officially starting in September!!! And, this morning, I woke up to find not one, not two, but three e-mails from individuals who had seen the little blurb that was put in our church newsletter and wanted to know more :) It makes me so excited to hear from others that share the same passion that I do, and want to be involved :)
In keeping with the exciting aspects of today, I would like to move to another topic...tulips (ok, a bit of a stretch I know, but work with me for a sec). I love tulips. We have a lot of them in our neighbourhood, and just by going for a walk you experience so many amazing vibrant colors. They always seem to make me smile :) I noticed something this morning that I hadn't before. If you look at the stem of a tulip, it's very long and thin...and unstable. The reason that it stays straight is it's foundation; the soil packed firmly around it, and it's roots. It becomes evident how important this foundation is to the flower, once you pluck it from the ground. We have a couple in a vase in the kitchen, and simply placed in water, they bend over, unable to stand on their own. This can be a mirror of my life more often than I care to mention, and I found it to be true as I was trying to get Able Church up and running. In short, I was trying to do it on my own, trying to stand tall without His strength, bending under the pressure, and wilting because of the stresses and feelings of failure. I was ignoring my roots, my foundation, in an effort to get the job done...and it wasn't working. You see, ulimately, it's not my Able Church, it's His; it's not my life, it's His. I also realised how much I need to trust His timing as well, because I can get pretty impatient :P But even when I feel like things are moving at way too slow of a pace, He has a plan. That's what happened with a wonderful detour called Friendship Club :) It is more or less what I hope Able Church will be, and it really prepared me in ways that I never expected or thought I needed.
So, that brings me back to this morning, and getting so excited about reading those e-mails. I was really excited in part because of the support and interest from others. But the other part came from knowing that it's where I'm supposed to be, and it's in His time...isn't it awesome what God can teach you through a simple tulip? ;)
Lots of Love and Blessings :) <3

Happy Mother's Day....

Hello all :)
Happy Mother's Day! I hope you are all having a splendid day, and that you've been able to take some time to be with family. It is an absolutely gorgeous day here and we have been taking full advantage of it :) So, in honour of mother's day, I thought I would dedicate this post to that wonderful lady in my life as well :)
It's amazing how much we take people for granted some times. In the simple, day to day things that are done for us every so quietly, all of the prayers that are said, all of the love that is given; and yet we so often discount it or pass it by. I am guilty of it way to often, even with the amazing woman that I am so blessed to call my mother.
She really is, you know :) For starters, is the fact that my mother...is a blogger. And not a wimpy blogger like me, this once every 2 months deal, oh no; she is a get up, get dressed, read her bible, grab some coffee and blog kinda person...every day...no exceptions! ;) I say it jokingly, but in all honesty, it's something that I really admire. The persistance and commitment, it's something that I could use more of in many area :P However, while her blogging schedule is definitely to be admired, it is when you begin to read her daily entries that you begin to understand my mum's heart. She has always had an amazingly beautiful and God-given gift with words. She can paint a picture in your head so vividly, it's like you're actually there, with pictures to compliment that would rival any photographer :) But, for me, what shines through the most in everything that she writes, is her faith. Whether it's her monday morning blog, a poem or letter for a friend, or another amazing children's book, she writes of her Saviours love, and all that He's done in her life. She writes of the joys and the sorrows and through it all, how He's been her rock.
I think I take that for granted too, having both a mum and dad who love the Lord. Knowing that through everything I have at least two people praying for me and even with me if I need. It also challenges me to see my mum's faith in God remain, even through the hard time. Trust me, there have been some hard times, and no one is perfect, but her centre has never shaken...her centre in Him.
So, here's to the most amazing mother in the world :) An amazing woman of God, with a heart as big as her blog(maybe even bigger) :) and who I know, loves me unconditionally <3
Love you tons! <3

Even When It Rains....

Hey there wonderful people :)
So, it's a quick one today, my class got out early and I have some time, so I thougt I'd check in :) It's raining today. The weather seems to not be able to make up it's mind as of late...from summy weather that doesn't require a coat, to snow and slush to steady rain. I don't mind the rain so much, especially when it gets me thinking. However much we complain abou what the rain does, getting us wet, ruining hair, making that drive into school just a little bit slower, despite all of that, deep down we know that we still need it. It's time for winter's debris to be washed away and for spring to be here. It's time for the ground to begin to soften so that new life can begin to appear, and brighten up our world once again.
That's how it is with the trials in our lives. They suck, lets be honest. They cause us to question, to cry, to become angry and frustrated with who and where we are. But deep down, I know, and I hope you do too, that God is working on us during those times, walking right beside us, changing and moulding us, giving us yet another reason to rely fully and completely on Him...it is only when the rain stops and the sun comes out that we can begin to see where he has brought us, how our heart and life has changed and what new life is beginning to emerge.
I don't know where you are today, and I don't pretend to. Everyone has their own journey, their own struggles and their own joys. But one thing remains constant across all of it...God never changes, He is the same yesterday, today and forever, and that is what gives me strength. Even in the middle of the storm, where you can't see how this could POSSIBLY be used for good, turn to Him, ask Him again today to be your strength, and lay all of it at His feet. He wants to be your rock, your Saviour, your friend who will never, ever go away...even when it rains.
Blessings <3
Meaghan :) <3

Falling At Your Feet....

Good Morning All :)
So, my typical 8 am class was cancelled today, so I have some time on my hands before my day gets busy, and I thought I would check in :) This is seriously becoming a monthly thing, but I think that's alright, at least for now. So, a little catch up on life:
- school is almost done!!!! a couple more assignments and test to go, and then I'm home free :)
- summer is looking promising...planning meetings starting up for able church that should begin in september, and of course Camp Daniel is is the forseeable future which always brightens my spirits
- I am constantly encouraged and challenged by a God who loves me so much, even when I forget that He's so near to me

That last point is the one that's really been on my heart lately. I have really been getting caught up in the busyness of life over the past couple of months, letting stresses and worries consume, trying to do it on my own strength (and we all know how well that works :S) I have been feeling the dryness of spirit that comes from and inconsistent relationship with God and with a community that I do desperately need to remain focussed and encouraged in my journey.
It has been my experience though, that when I am at my lowest is when I can feel God's arms around me the tightest; when everything else seems to have fallen away and He truly is the only one I can turn to...and I fall at his feet. Now, when I think to hard about that, I get kind of embarassed. You see, that's exactly the kind of person I don't want to be, right? You know the kind of person who seems distant and silent until there's a problem, until there's a need for a shoulder to cry on...then they're calling out your name. I've been that person on many ocasions, but it's scary sometimes to think that that's how my relationship with God can be. I want to be able to come to Him with the good and the bad, and sit at his feet and listen, not just cry at His feet.
There is most definitely a balance, one that I am constantly trying to figure out and maintain. But, the most amazing part is this...while our earthly friendships may sometimes fade, His love for us never, EVER does! Regardless of how many times we fall at His feet, in tears again for the way that we've acted or what we've done, He hasn't turned away. He lifts our face, holds us close and whispers in our ear, "I love you...I created you...you are mine...come back to me again" My heart is just overflowing with joy as I write this guys! To have a heavenly Father like that, it's just....wow :)
To end off, I wanted to tell a story of sorts. I have a younger sister, still in highschool, who I have been so encouraged by over the past couple months. I see her growing in her faith, proclaiming it to others, and over flowing with love for those around her, both her friends and in the community. It has encouraged, challenged and strengthened me in my own walk with God and others in so many ways. This week she was involved with a missons project of sorts, serving those in our community and others as well. She posted a reflection of her week, and I wanted to share some of it with you, to encourage you as well:

So I urge you, never take for granted the life you have, and love like it is the only thing you've ever known. Freedom really is here, floating around as if it is invisible. I pray that our eyes be opened, that we don't settle for a life that comes nowhere near to the life God has planned for us. We so often become insensitive to the passion God wants to place in our hearts. We go to a conference, or event that stirs something in our hearts. But for how long? An hour? A week? This week, had the potential to truly change lives, and I pray that you don't let those experiences pass you by. Let your heart be broken. We CAN make a difference. We CAN change our hearts.
Love is what this world needs. After seeing the devastation of the community we live in, it became clear. People are searching for something, they just don't know what. Love is infectious. It is what we are called to do. And it is the cry of my heart that we may grad ahold of this, and never let it go.

Let your love be infectious this week. Let it spur you on to exclaim all that He has done for you to the world. Let us not be silent, let us run this race, and keep pushing on, and one day, finish well. Let us fall at the feet of our Saviour, in times of joy, saddness, triumph and pain...may we be children of light, and may that light never be extinguished!
God Bless
Meaghan :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifC88SSQvBU

Those Who Hunger and Thirst....

Hey All,
I just want to point out that this is the quickest follow up post that I've had in a long time :) I like being able to post because it means a couple of things. Firstly, it means that I have something exciting to share, something that God has shown me throughout my day, my week, or something that I've FINALLY opened up my eyes to see about my life, that He's been trying to show me for so long. The second thing is two fold. Posting means that I have time. Away from school, stress and the busyness that can be life, to sit down and pour out my heart through this computer. This either happens because I actually do have a free afternoon (which I'll admit, is rare) or because I've made a choice, to quiet myself, my mind and my heart in the midst of everything, and just be. That is what today is. I am sitting at school inbetween classes, sipping tea and just enjoying taking some deep breaths :) So, what is the exciting thing that God showed me this week that I get to share with you????? :)
Every sunday night, I meet with a wonderful group of people my age to study God's word and learn more about Him. This began almost three years ago, and I have been so incredibly blessed by the amazing friends that I have made and the ways that they continue to support me and challenge me in my faith. This past sunday, we began a study on the beatitudes, which was amazingly encouraging. We went through the first few verses, but the one that I want to share with you is Matthew 5:6 - "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied"
The question was asked, "what does it mean to really hunger and thirst, what does it feel like?" This is part that got me thinking, because so many things came to mind;
- you are dry
- you are tired and drained
- you can thinking of nothing but quenching your thirst, satisfying the hunger
- that first sip of water, the first morsel of food, is amazingly satisfying
I started thinking about my own life, the times when I've neglected to really fill my day with Him, be satisfied by His word and His presence. When I get so busy that it get's put on the back burner, I can feel it. My spirit becomes dry, in my weakness, I try to take on this world alone, and I fail. The scary part is, that if I do this long enough, I begin to think that I don't need him. Just as someone who goes without food, eventually looses that feeling of "hunger". But replaces it is a feeling of emptiness, I hole that can be filled only by the food that you crave. It is here that I am so thankful that I serve a God of grace and second chances. For no matter how far we have strayed, no matter how long we have said "I can do this on my own, I can survive", when we turn back around and run home to Him, He is there, with His arms wide open. He is ready to quench our thirsty souls with His love and forgiveness and feed us with His word, revealing to us new truths and mercies every time we turn the page. May you be filled today, by the amazing God of the universe who loves you soooooooo much and is the only one who can fill that empty space; may we hunger and thirst for Him :)

A Year of Fearing Less...

Today has been a wonderful day. I'll admit, it didn't start out that way. I awoke to the musical sound of my alarm that, despite it happy tune still made me cringe. You see, today was the first day of a new semester and my day began at 6:00 am. So out of bed I got and immediately started praying; for strength,for alertness, for a day filled with God. But I have found it to be true that even with this somewhat spiritual start to my day, my priorities can get way off track as my day progresses. The weight of the world begins to pull me down, my eyes turn from the one who can take that burden away, to the things of this world that I use to distract and temporarily satisfy; busyness, school, running around simply so I don't have time to stop and confront myself. And my Saviour, my Jesus, the one who is running right along side of me, begging me to slow down, take a breathe, and just talk to Him about it, He gets lost in the fast paced life that has become so common for me.
Now, at this point you're probably thinking, "wow, this is a bit of a downer, didn't this post start out with 'this was a wonderful day'?" And you're right. But I have also come to discover that throughout my day, it is the small things that I must begin to recognise and thank God for, in the blessings that speed past me that I need to see God. Tonight, that was found in a conversation with a friend; a friend who has been on my heart for quite some time, and who God has been pushing me to talk to. You see, God is all knowing, and I am so ridiculously naive sometimes. For He brought into me life a beautiful and wonderful woman of God who cried with me, laughed with me, prayed with me and uttered the words that helped me to finally breathe a huge sigh of relief..."I know exactly how you feel".
We all have our struggles. Some of us recognise and take hold of them, tackling them with the help of those around us and our Father in heaven. While there are also those of us who feel ashamed, that we must hide these struggles for fear of what others may think or feel towards us as a result. My dear friends, we were made for community, to bear each other's burdens, and walk along side each other, loving each other just as Christ loves us. Don't do it alone. It is the hardest and most freeing thing to be able to be vunerable, sharing with other brothers and sisters in Christ what it is that you are struggling with and asking for help and for prayer.
The last thing I wanted to talk about was this past Sunday. It was baptism Sunday at my church, which is always exciting for me. While I am excited for those giving their testimony at the front of the church, it aslo gives me the chance to examine my own heart and take a closer look at my relationship with God. One of the girls sharing her testimory, who is also a friend of mine, was sharing about her outlook on this year to come and how she has decided to label it "the year of fearing less". Not being "fearless", for with fearlessness can come irresponsibility and recklessness. But a year in which those things that we fear that hold us back, that keep us from fulfilling our God-given passions and purposes, that they would be blown out of the water. That that fear would be layed at the foot of the cross, never to hinder us again. So that is my prayer this year, and it is my prayer for you as well. I have to remember that these things take time. I can easily fall into the trap of expecting everything to be rainbows and sunshine from now on when I know that's simply not how it works. It's going to mean daily, waking up and committing the day to God, laying all of my struggles and insecurities at His feet, knowing that I will most likely stumble and fall at some point, but that He will be right there to catch me.

Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
You you'll never win

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

I choose to listen to His voice and His alone. And as my beautiful friend Whitney says, let us make this a year of fearing less :)

Lots of Love
God Bless
Meaghan :) <3
~Romans 8:38~

I'm Such a Martha....

Hey there :)
Happy Thanksgiving! I have so many things to be thankful for this year, and just in general. I'm learning to smack myself upside the head more often, and look around to see all of the amazing people and opportunities that God has placed into my life that I simply take for granted. I have been thinking a lot lately along those lines...priorities, putting God first and being eternally minded when it comes to what I say and what I do.
I am a person who gets stressed out pretty easily, as much as I try not to. Combined with my inherent ability to procrastinate, this can make keeping up with school and readings quite an interesting experience. However, God always seems to bring good out of even stressful situations, and manages to teach me something. This week, it was through Mary and Martha.
I hadn't thought of this particular bible story in many years, but it was brought to mind through a song from one of the Donut Man videos that I used to watch when I was little. A skit along with it, the song tells the story or 2 women who were having Jesus over to their house for a meal. When Jesus arrives, Mary sits down in front of Him and simply listens to him speak, talks with Him, and spends time with Him. Martha, on the other hand, is in the kitchen, cooking the meal, cleaning up, making sure everything is ready. During the course of the evening Martha gets really frustrated with Mary, wanting her to come and help with the meal, and get everything prepared. But Jesus steps in and gently reminds Martha that Mary is the one who has chosen correctly, simply by choosing Him.
This story always bugged me. Not because I don't believe it's true, or that I think it's wrong....but deep down, I think I always sympathised related to Martha even though I wanted to be like Mary. I mean, for pete's sake, you're having Jesus over for dinner!!!! I would want every inch of my place to be spotless, to cook the best meal I had ever made and just have everything, well...perfect! This is the Son of God we're talking about! But then I pause and hear His whisper..."Martha...Martha...Meaghan...choose me instead. Instead of the cleaning, instead of the perfection, instead of the stress, instead of the feelings of self doubt, and 'not good enough'...choose me. Come and sit at my feet and just be for awhile. Talk to me, let me talk to you. Tell me about what you're so stressed about, tell me about your joys, your sorrows your fears...open up my word and lets look at some of it together...let me guide your mind and your heart as you read through my thoughts and promises...I love you, and I want to spend time with you...
When you think of it like that, why I even want to be a Martha? But I think it happens to all of us. And, I've found, it can even happen when we're doing His work...and I would argue that that's the most dangerous time it can happen. Nothing should be placed before God in our lives...not even things that He's given us a passion for. So, youth leading, bible study, able church...all of these things should be and are passions that are on my heart and come straight from God. But, they are not, and should not turn into my gods. And I confess that I can be guilty of that.
So, that would be my prayer for myself and for you this week...that we would be Mary's in a world of Martha's. That doesn't mean that we abandon our passions by any means...when God places something on your heart, you grab a hold of it and never let go, He can and will do amazing things through you if you let Him :) We just have to be careful that those passions don't take the place of time with God in our lives. Take time to just sit with God this week, talk to Him and listen for His whispers, tell Him about your day, thank Him for all He's done and just...breathe. He loves spending time with us...how amazing is that, the God of the UNIVERSE not only likes to but WANTS to spend time with you and me. I can't help but smile at that :)
Well, that's all for now I think. I hope you all have a splendid week! Don't ever forget how much you are loved <3
Lots of Love
God Bless
Meaghan :)
ps - here is the link for that donut man song I mentioned :) about 30 sec in til 3:15ish is the Mary and Martha song :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=io8vh6uQXUA&feature=related

Find Him in the Everyday...

Hey there :)
So, I'm just gonna make this one a quickie, because frankly, I need sleep :P But(and I know I say this every year), but I really do want to make this blog more of a consistant thing, so hopefully this will be the start. I have a hard time with these "just checking in" posts, because I always feel the need to be uber spiritual, or be really poetic when I write...inspire someone, make someone's day, that kind of thing. In all honesty, that can be the reason why I don't blog, simply becuase I feel like I don't have much to say.
But as I was going through my day in my head, I started thinking about all of the little things, the places I went, the people I spent time with, the emotions I felt, the things that I read...and how God can show Himself to you, even in those small things. So, just as a recap;

~ in the laughter of my sister, I was reminded of God's joy
~ in the walk through the woods, I was able to marvel at God's creation
~ in the soft whispers of a reassuring voice, I was reminded of how He leads me on, everyday, even when I'm scared and confused
~ in the busyness and stress of and open house, I was reminded of all that I have, and all that is provided from His hand.
~ in a long awaited e-mail, I was reminded again of what my focus needs to be
~ in reading the blog of a friend, I was reminded of the importance of being in constant conversation with my heavenly father, and how His power is made known in weakness.
~ through strained conversation, I was reminded how important communication is, especially with family, who I love so dearly

So, that's what He taught me today...and it only took me until 11:47 to figure it out :P It is so easy to miss what is directly in front of me, it really frustrates me sometimes :P So that would be my prayer for you as we begin a new day...that you would fix your eyes on Jesus, knowing that He longs for relationship with you, more deeply and intimately than you could ever imagine, and that you would stop and take time to listen for His voice, and notice His hand, in the everyday :) Lots of love til next time :)
God Bless
Meaghan :)
~Romans 8:38~

A Letter to Myself :)

Hello there :)
So, here we are again, getting closer and closer to when school begins, buying all of the annual supplies, trying (and in my case, failing), to some what regulate our sleeping patterns once again so that we can wake up at 6 am to catch the bus, but still be vertical by 10:30 :P I'm actually looking forward to school quite a bit this year. The majority of the classes that I'm taking I'm actually interested in, and it will be nice to fall into somewhat of a routine again.
I got to think about high school a bit this week too. My brother will be starting grade 9 this year (which still seems crazy to me :P), and my youngest sister will be in grade 11. But the thing that realy got me thinking about highschool this week was something that I got to do, something that I had been waiting to do for 5 years...I got to open a letter :)
In my 10th grade english class, my teacher made us each write a letter to ourselves in the future. It wasn't really for any kind of grade, I think we even got the marks just for completing it. The teacher asked us to write the letter, seal it in an envelope and then write on the back when we would be allowed to open it. She then collected all of the letters and distributed them on the last day of class for us to keep.
I opened my letter to find it riddled with questions. In fact, that was pretty much all that it was, from the silly questions about whether or not I still had a crush on the same boy to questions about family, health and future plans. Alot of it made me laugh, some of it made me cry. But one thing stood out to me more than anything else...so much of what I was struggling with 5 years ago, I am still struggling with now. I asked about my faith journey, my relationship with God, and if I still procrastinated like crazy. I asked about my relationship with my family, especially my siblings, and talked about how important that was. It really made me stop and think.
I have done a lot of 'looking back' this year, seeing where God has taken me, how He's been working on my heart and in my life. I see how He has been continuing His work in me and how He's been shaping me from the 15 year old girl in a grade 10 english class, to growing closer to woman that He wants me to become. I am blown away by the changes that I've seen, but I am also mindful of what still needs to be changed and worked on. I still have a long way to go.
But if I've learned nothing else this summer it's that I don't have to do it on my own. To think for a second that I got to where I am today on my own strength is a lie, and I need to remember to wake up each morning and surrender the day to Him. When I'm weak, then I'm strong, because God is strong, and He is working in me to shine through my weaknesses so I can give Him glory.
All that from a silly letter :) Never underestimate the things that God will use to show you about your life and make you examine your heart just a little bit closer. Maybe I should write another letter to myself, for another 5 years away...who knows where I'll be. I think that's the beauty of it though, no one but God truely knows where I'll be, and while that scares me in some respects, it excites me so much more, because that means that I have the creator of the universe, the lover of my soul, as my guide...how could I ask for anything more? :)

Lots of Love
God Bless
Meaghan :)
~Romans 8:38~

When God Takes a Hold of Your Heart

Hey there :)
So, my last post on here was in April which is pure craziness :P I always said that this was going to be an every now and again deal, but I'm hoping to try and keep it more consistant than that from now on. So, as you can imagine, a lot has happened to me since April, which it normally does. God has been taking my on a lot of crazy journeys, some breezy and beautiful, some frustrating and "pounding a brick wall" material. But I feel like the climax to these journeys, the door that finally opened to show me a bit more of what God wants and has for me, came this summer in Athelstane WI.
I'm not sure if I posted anything about this before, but I was in Wisconsin for about a month this summer, working as a camp councelor. The camp I was at is called Camp Daniel, and it is specifically for adults and children with disabilities. The ratio of camper to councelor is one to one, so you are paired with your camper at the beginning of the week and do everything with them. It was, seriously, one of the most life, mind and heart changing times of my life.
I found right off th bat that the position I held was going to require total sacrifice. Not just a bit of sacrifice and then time for me (which I came to realise that was what I was used to), but complete selflessness from 7 or 8 in the morning until 9 at night. I don't think I've been that tired, but I also don't think I've felt that satisfaction or that sense of purpose before either.
Before the camper arrived, we had quite a few hours of orientation, letting us know how everything was going to run, what to expect, things like that. That's also where I found the drive and determination to give the week my all for whoever I was paired with. For most of the campers, the week at Camp Daniel is something they look forward to all year. There are campers who pack weeks, sometimes months in advance. The story was told of one camper who begins calling three months before camp starts to find out which team he will be on. It is a place where the campers feel safe, like they belong, and they are free to be themselves, even if it's only for the week.
The other thing shared at orientation that really changed my perspective was regarding the spiritual side of the week. We were told that we were the "Jesus person" in our campers life for the week. Alot of the campers had never been to church before or really had any positive encounters with Christianity. I'll be honest, that freaked me out just as much as it motivated me :P.
So, as I look back on all that I just wrote, it really is a lot of and describing and not a whole lot of explaining. This summer has been a huge eye opener for me. There is a whole culture of people, those who have disabilities, that separate ourselves from. They have amazing gifts and talents that go un noticed and pushed aside because they are deemed different. This has become especially apparent to me within the context of the church. There are campers there who are amazing prayer warriors, lead the worship teams, and the genuine way that they simply worship the Lord together is one of the purest and most honest things I've ever experienced.
So that's all for now. My heart and me head are full, and so I will fill you in on more of what's going on soon. It really is amazing what God will do with your heart when you surrender it to Him. Talk to you soon!
Lots of Love
God Bless
Meaghan :)
~Romans 8:38~

Say what you need to say....

What would you do if you were told you only had 5 years left to live? I don't know why, but I started thinking about that today while in the middle of studying for my exam tomorrow. I started day dreaming of all of the things that I would change...I would throw aside my fears, not let silly things stand in the way of what I knew I needed to do, the things I needed to say...I would hop on the next plane to Africa, travel to all the places that I said I would "eventually" visit. I wouldn't let what other people thought stand in the way anymore...I would walk slower down the street, never let my priorities get out of whack....and then I stopped, and wondered why I wasn't doing all of that now. What happened to living life to the fullest? Living every second for God, and pushing procrastination off that cliff once and for all? The other thing that popped into my head was about sharing my faith. That has been the topic of discussion over the past couple of weeks at youth, and it really smacked me upside the head today. Lord, let me throw aside my fear where living for You is concerned. May I live each day as if it's my last...I'm not expecting everyday to be rainbows and sunshine, for it is in trusting You through my struggles that I grow stronger and closer. But may I wake up every morning and thank You for the gift of a new day, and may I never take it for granted.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt58Z_XuGe4

<3>

Hello again :)

Today has been a good day. My fridays consist of a 9am class and then work until 4, which was good. I have to be careful not to just simply go through the motions of my day, to tune out the small things, creation, God's voice. I was walking to school this morning with the sun rising in front of me....it was so beautiful. The God who created me created that....so amazing! :)

So, the other pretty awesome part of my day was a prayer meeting that happened in my living room this evening. As a bit of a backstory, I am a part of a bible study that meets every Sunday night. A lot of us went to highschool together, and it's a pretty great group to be a part of :) So, we had been talking a lot about prayer lately and as a group decided that we wanted to have one day out of the week, aside from Sunday where we got together and just pray. So that what we did tonight, and it was so good :) It wound up just being three of us who could make it but we just sat together and talked to God with whatever was on our hearts. I really do hope that it is something that we will continue on a weekly basis. Hopefully with school finishing soon, people's schedules will be a bit less crazy and more people can come, but even with just three it was such a good time of quiet and reflection.

Well, that's about it for now :) This was a short one but I really wanted to share about tonight. Plus, I have to work tomorrow, so sleep needs to happen fairly soon :P I'll catch up with you later :)

Lots of Love

Hey there :)

So, it has been ages since I have written here, so I thought I would give you a bit of a life update. School is coming to a close for this year, which will see the end of my second year of university :) I am looking forward to it being finished for sure. This year has been one of those "required" years where school is concerned. A lot of manditory courses, but ones that will help me in upper years for sure. I look forward to next year with much excitement though :) I have the opportunity to take a specialised Autism course, disabilities courses, a sign language class, as well as the possibility for a teaching assistant position for a first year class :) Oh, so in case I haven't talked about this yet, my career path has changed a bit. Where I started out wanting to be a french teacher (I don't know what I was thinking :P), then was thinking about teaching in a special needs classroom, I am now hoping to pursue a career in occupational therapy :) It will mean a couple more years of schooling than I had origionally thought, but it will be so worth it :) I can't explain how amazing to know that God has opened my eyes to this, that he has given me a passion and a purpose to work with these kids. I went from pretty much wandering aimlessly in my first year, just getting through, to grabbing hold of this passion this year and running with it :)

Which leads me to my super cool exciting summer plans......Camp Daniel! :) It is a camp in the states, specifically for children and adults with disabilities and it is looking like I will be counceling there this coming July and August :) This, again, was one of those "God moments". I had e-mailed the camp director saying that I would love to come and councel for as many weeks as I could but....and then I gave a list of all the reasons why I thought it probably wouldn't work; I wouldn't be able to get there until a day before camp started, I didn't have a ride to and from the airport, I didn't really have any formal training, I was unsure about flights....I'm good at that, making excuses. But, God is bigger than my excuses (thank goodness!). The first line of the e-mail I received back was, "I want you to know that we will do everything we can to make this work for you"....and then she went on the slash all my excuses in half....every single one! :) So, all that to say, God is good, and I am super excited for what this summer has in store for me :)

I have been thinking a lot about listening for God and following Him in the day to day. I just finished reading a blog that almost made me cry, that got me thinking about it even more. If you have a second check it out (search kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com). She is a young woman in her mid 20's who lives in Uganda and has adopted upwards of 11 children (I can't remember the exact number, sorry :( ). Her blog speaks of her constant reliance on God for necessities, but also for strength, emotional needs....everything. She gave up everything for His calling on her life. Love shines through every paragraph she writes....love for God and love for her children....and I cry because it is humbling...I cry because I have so much and yet I trust God with so little...I cry because I let the busyness of life crowd Him out and then I wonder why I feel so dry...I cry because there are so many out there who need His love and I am falling short...but I cry with hope....Father, awaken my heart, don't let me turn a blind eye to those children, to those that you have placed on my heart....

~now that I have seen,

I am responsible

Faith without deeds is dead

now that I have held you in my own arms,

I cannot let go~

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline".

~1 Timothy 2:17~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGx-xU6TnU8&NR=1